Embodying Integrity, Selflessness, and Respect

In my childhood, I vividly recall a moment of learning that would shape much of my understanding of leadership—and life—forever. One day, driven by my own childish greed, I asked my grandmother if we could hide the banana chips so I could enjoy them all to myself. Our family lived in a large joint household, with my grandparents, three uncles, two aunts, and me—the eldest child. The kitchen was a shared space, and treats like sweets or fried items were a rarity. When they appeared, everyone eagerly gathered, knowing that in minutes, the treat would be gone. Naturally, I thought that hiding some of it for myself would be a clever idea.

But when I posed the question to my grandmother, her response was firm: “We shall not even think like that… it is not right.” She didn’t just dismiss my request; she went deeper, advising me to eradicate such thoughts from my mind altogether. “It starts with the thought,” she would often remind me. I remember her saying repeatedly, “Oh, we shall not think like that.” It wasn’t just a lesson on food, it was a lesson on life.

Growing up with the elders of my family, I had the unique opportunity to absorb their values and principles. In those days, a simple packet of fried items or a handful of sweets was a luxury. The temptation to hoard or be greedy was not just about food, but about the awareness that, in a shared household, anything we enjoyed would be quickly consumed by others. Yet my grandmother’s gentle but unwavering stance on fairness and selflessness left a deep impression on me.

Today, in my 40s, as I reflect on those early lessons and step into leadership roles, I realize just what kind of leader my grandmother was. She wasn’t tall, loud, or commanding in the traditional sense. She wasn’t the one to lead with grand gestures or take center stage. But there was no mistaking her presence. In any group, she exuded a quiet authority. Her strength came not from appearance or position but from her attitude. She led with principles, integrity, and wisdom—quietly, yet resolutely.

I see now that the true essence of leadership is not just in the bold, outward displays of power, but in the subtle ways one shapes the environment and influences others. My grandmother taught me some core truths that continue to guide me as I grow in my leadership journey:

1. Follow principles and encourage others to do the same: Leadership begins with a clear sense of right and wrong. Principles are not optional—they are the bedrock upon which any lasting leadership is built. My grandmother lived her life by this simple, yet profound truth: what is right is right, and what is wrong cannot be justified. She didn’t just tell others what to do—she lived it, and by her example, we all learned.
2. As a leader, you cannot afford to be selfish: Leadership is never about personal gain. It’s about service, about putting the needs of others first. If my grandmother had hoarded those banana chips for herself, or for her favorite grandchild, it would have not only been a small act of selfishness, but it would have eroded the trust and harmony that were the foundation of our family life. True leaders put the collective good above personal desires.
3. Treat everyone with respect and dignity: One of the most powerful leadership lessons I’ve learned is the importance of respect. My grandmother always treated every person, regardless of age, status, or role, with respect. She saw the value in every individual, and as a result, she earned the respect of everyone around her. In leadership, this principle is non-negotiable. You cannot lead if you do not respect those you lead, and that respect must be mutual.

These lessons, though simple in their delivery, were deeply transformative. They have shaped the leader I strive to be today—one who leads not by force or authority, but by example, by integrity, and by unwavering commitment to principles. My grandmother, though she never held a formal leadership title, was one of the most powerful leaders I have ever known. She led by living her values, and by doing so, she inspired others to do the same.

As I reflect on her wisdom, I am reminded that leadership is not just about making decisions, giving orders, or achieving goals. It’s about the quiet consistency of character, the courage to do what is right even when it’s difficult, and the humility to lead with respect and selflessness. These are the hallmarks of true leadership—and they are lessons that we can carry with us at any stage of our journey.